Justin Timberlake - Never Again
His public breakup ode to Britney. I’m listening to it on repeat. No breakup here, just a big wakeup. Are they often so close to the same?
“ Pain is inevitable: suffering is optional ”
Yup, that about sums it up.
Stop complaining, you sissies (myself included). It IS what you make it.
days gone by
I have been writing and writing…and deciding to keep my posts private as I work through in my mind what I feel like I am willing to share.
With all of the madness that goes on with all of those within the incestuous blogging world who apparently get way more ass than I do, I decided to take a step back in June and make everything private, so I wouldn’t hold back, and I would think, and grow in the ways that I wanted to, without restriction or hesitation.
I think I have found the balance.
Expect more public posts in the near future.
I refuse to overshare :)
“ Do not accustom yourself to use big words for little matters. ”
Howie Day- She Says
Troubled kid…brilliant song.
“ The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. ”
Umm yah, I need to work on those tempting moments.
don’t call it a comeback
So, about a month ago I took this blog private and stopped sharing. I was scared someone I like read it, saw some of the things I said about him, and although it wasn’t oversharing, and wasn’t anything that he doesn’t already know, and although I never said/wrote/whatever his name, I just felt wrong/scared/nervous at the thought of him reading it.
I just don’t want to share it with him. Not now. Probably not ever. Even him seeing me say “wow I had a really great conversation with x. I miss him” is too much. I guess the thought of him knowing that I care enough to share even the smallest of tidbits isn’t cool.
I think it is some part of me just wanting to protect my heart, in that if he saw it, it might open me up for even more ___________.
I’m not even sure exactly what his role in my life is, but it seems apparent that whenever there is a ton of ambiguity, you tend to write/explore/think/obsess (?) about it more. No matter what IT is.
Perhaps it is because we all want the writing to be on the wall? Perhaps it is the chase? Perhaps it is just a small part of us that loves the uncertainty for the same reason that we hate it.
Ok, that was a ramble. It probably doesn’t even make sense. But the point is I’ve missed doing it, so I’m coming back.
At the end of the day, if you/me/we/us/people are uncomfortable with people reading or seeing something we put on the internet, we really have no business putting it there.
days of daze of days
I have been in quite a busy daze lately. So many changes: work, life, friendship, …nope not love, but everything else :) And hope is abundant.
“ What a chimera then is man! What a novelty! What a monster, what a chaos, what a contradiction, what a prodigy! Judge of all things, feeble earthworm, depository of truth, a sink of uncertainty and error, the glory and the shame of the universe ”
i am such a fool.
that is all.
there are about 4193424 reasons why so i won’t elaborate.
i just need to think, let go, and move on.